Is my marriage a Fail?

i have been with my wife for 7 years. My wife had 2 children now 15 and 16 years old and we recently had 1 more who is 3. finances are never under budget, 15 and 16 year olds are out of control and my wife doesnt support me in trying to keep the kids under control. like punishments, chores, ect.... we argue constantly about the kids. my sister and brother inlaw allow ther 18 year old to drink and smoke pot and my wife doesnt see why i really dont want my kids hanging around them. when we argue, i mean when she yells at me for pointing out the problems and starts reminding me of everything i have done wrong for the last hundred years i begin to believe that i dont see this relationship going anywhere. i have tried counseling, psycologists, marriage counseling, ect... and i dont know where to turn. i dont feel attracted to her and i dont know what to do. i really dont want to be another statistic! i want to succeed but i dont know where to go with this. also, we dont do anything together. she sleeps constantly, and when she's awake 50% of the time she is complaining. i have tried to get her to go out with me and do stuff with me. but she has no intrest in things i do or any intrests of her own. when i do things i like to do once, or maybe twice a week on occasion i get a riticuled about it and it becomes a arguement 1/2 of the time. i feel like this is all a loss. help me please i dont know what to do!